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Dear healthwellness82@gmail.com, If you could take a class that would permanently make you happier, would you sign up? Today, Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, one of the most popular lecturers at Harvard University and author of Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, shares highlights from his life-changing class in positive psychology -- including how to feel better even when you are going through the hardest times. And here is information that can bring great happiness tonight, when you enjoy dinner at a fine restaurant at a deeply discounted price: Mary Hunt, editor of Debt-Proof Living, tells how. All the best,  Jessica Kent Editor BottomLineSecrets.com  Delicious 'Wonder Drug' for High Blood Pressure Praised by Harvard Researchers So what makes these folks practically "immune" to hypertension -- and lets them enjoy much lower death rates from heart attacks, strokes, diabetes and cancer? Harvard researchers were stunned to discover it’s because they drink about five cups of cocoa each day. That’s right, cocoa! Learn more... Can You Learn to Be Happy? Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD Recent scientific studies and scholarly research have reached some startling conclusions about what makes people happy. To help understand how you can use this information, we spoke to Harvard lecturer and best-selling author Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD. Each semester, more than 800 Harvard students register for his life-changing class on positive psychology. Students explore the question How can we help ourselves and others to become happier? The students read academic journal articles, test ideas, share personal stories and, by the end of the year, emerge with a clearer understanding of what psychology can teach us about leading happier, more fulfilling lives.
There is a genetic component to happiness. Some people are born with a happier disposition than others or with personality traits that are strong predictors of happiness, such as being sociable, active, stable and calm. However, that doesn’t mean how happy we feel is out of our control. Our genes define a range, not a set point. “Grumpy” may not be able to cultivate the same view of life that “Happy” enjoys. A natural-born whiner may not be able to transform himself/herself into a Pollyanna. But we all can become significantly happier. Most people fall far short of their happiness potential.
This is a concept that my students and our society in general struggle with. Happiness largely depends on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. It depends on what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and on our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity? One of the most common barriers to happiness is the false expectation that one thing -- a promotion at work, a prize, a revelation -- will bring us eternal bliss. As soon as you achieve your goal, the “what’s next” syndrome kicks in, leaving you as unfulfilled as before. Let me tell you a personal story. When I was 16 years old, I won the Israeli National Squash Championship. I always believed that winning the title would make me happy and alleviate the emptiness I felt so much of the time. Winning the championship was necessary for fulfillment. Fulfillment was necessary for happiness. That was the logic I operated under. After a night of celebration, I retired to my room to savor that feeling of supreme happiness. But my feelings of emptiness returned. I sat around trying to convince myself that perhaps substituting a new goal -- winning the World Championship -- would finally lead me to happiness. What I came to realize was that a major victory can contribute to our well-being, but at best, it forms a small part of the mosaic of a happy life. The fairy-tale notion of happiness -- that something will carry us to the happily ever after -- inevitably leads to disappointment. A happy life is rarely shaped by some extraordinary life-changing event. Rather, it is shaped incrementally, experience by experience, moment by moment.
We must first accept that this is it! All there is to life is the day-to-day, the ordinary, the details of the mosaic. We are living a happy life when we derive pleasure and meaning while spending time with our loved ones or learning something new. The more our days are filled with these experiences, the happier we become. The other significant component of happiness is that helping oneself and helping others are inextricably intertwined. The more we help others, the happier we become... and the happier we become, the more inclined we are to help others. Our nature is such that there are few more satisfying acts than sharing with others, than feeling that we contributed to the lives of others.
There are several things you can start right away...
We all must endure periods, sometimes extended ones, in which much of what we do affords us minimal satisfaction. During those times, it’s important to see these periods with a broader perspective and find ways to imbue them with meaning. In a fascinating study of hospital janitors, one group experienced their work as boring and meaningless, but the other group perceived the same work as engaging and meaningful because they crafted their work in creative ways. They interacted more with nurses and patients, and they saw their work not merely as removing the garbage and washing dirty linen but contributing to the patients’ well-being and the smooth functioning of the hospital. When changing your perception isn’t feasible or effective, I find that one or two happy experiences during an otherwise uninspiring period can transform our general state. These brief but transforming experiences, which I call “happiness boosters” provide us with meaning and pleasure. For example, I met a partner in a top consulting firm. Now in his 50s, he no longer enjoys consulting, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to leave his profession or give up the lifestyle that he and his family have grown accustomed to. He was able to reduce his workload enough to spend two evenings each week with his family. He also plays tennis twice a week and reads for three hours. He joined the board of his former high school, where he feels he can contribute in a meaningful way to the next generation. In an ideal world, he would be spending his working hours doing something he is passionate about, but he is still happier than he has been in a long time. Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, one of Harvard University’s most popular lecturers. For the past 10 years, he has taught personal and organizational excellence, leadership, ethics and self-esteem. His best-selling book, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment (McGraw-Hill), has been translated into more than 20 languages.  Marge Couldn't Remember Her Phone Number... But Now Her Brain Is 20 Years Younger... Eat Out for Less Mary Hunt Debt-Proof Living To save money when dining out, book a reservation in advance online through DinnerBroker.com or OpenTable.com. You will get discounts and points that can be turned in for cash -- exact amounts depend on the restaurant and time of reservation. Also, clip coupons from Sunday newspapers, mailbox coupon packs and free penny-saving publications. Restaurants often offer discounts this way. The Entertainment Book (about $30*) offers a wide variety of restaurant discounts -- using just two or three discounts pays for the book (888-231-7283, www.entertainment.com). If you like a specific restaurant, sign up for its reward program -- you will get special deals by E-mail. Watch for promotions, such as Kids Eat Free or Early-Bird Specials. *Price subject to change. Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Mary Hunt, editor, Debt-Proof Living, Box 2135, Paramount, California 90723, www.debtproofliving.com. New INSTANT Cure for Extra High Cholesterol -- Cholesterol Drops 100 Points or More Important: Help your friends get much more out of life -- forward this E-letter to them. Better: Send it to many friends and your whole family. This is a free weekly e-mail service of BottomLineSecrets.com and Boardroom Inc. Boardroom Inc. 281 Tresser Boulevard Stamford, CT 06901-3229 ATTN: Web Team You received this e-mail because you have requested it. You are on the mailing list as healthwellness82@gmail.com. Or... a friend forwarded it to you. Disclaimer: Bottom Line Secrets publishes the opinions of expert authorities in many fields. But the use of these opinions is no substitute for legal, accounting, investment, medical and other professional services to suit your specific personal needs. Always consult a competent professional for answers to your specific questions. Bottom Line Secrets is a registered trademark of Boardroom Inc. Subscribe | Unsubscribe | Update My E-mail Preferences Change My E-mail Address | Contact Us | Privacy Policy Copyright (c) 2010 by Boardroom Inc. |
Is a person just “born happy” or “born unhappy”? 
Simplify. We are too busy trying to squeeze more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.
Tamara Eberlein, the editor of 
