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to your Address Book or Safe List. Learn how here. | May 22, 2011 | |  |  | Mourning the Loss of a Beloved Pet | | | Drug-Free Treatment Reverses Even Bone-on-Bone Arthritis... | | | Homemade Help for Dry Hands | | | Drug-Free Diabetes Cure | | | Fascinating Facts | | | |  |  | |  | |
 | | Mourning the Loss of a Beloved Pet When I ran into a friend and casually asked how she was, she replied, "Fine..." and then burst into tears. She explained that her cat had died the week before, and my heart went out to her. She works at home and had relied on her kitty’s constant companionship and unwavering devotion. "Maybe it’s silly, but I almost feel as though I’ve lost my best friend," she said. It is not at all silly—or uncommon—to feel bereft in such situations, given that many pet owners consider their dogs, cats and other lovable critters to be members of the family. Yet because some people regard a pet as "just an animal," they may not offer appropriate emotional support (as they would if you had lost a relative, for instance)—and the lack of understanding makes it harder to get through this difficult time. You may even doubt the legitimacy of your grief, believing it to be excessive, which also stymies attempts to mourn and move on. I called psychologist and grief counselor Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, author of When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing, to discuss ways to ease the pain after the loss of a pet. His suggestions... Recognize the depth of your grief as a reflection of the strength of your love. "The more profound the attachment to your pet was, the more profound your grief is likely to be," Dr. Wolfelt said. Accept that all your feelings are valid. Along with sadness, you may experience a surprising array of emotions—anger, denial, confusion, relief (if the animal had been suffering), even guilt (if you euthanized your pet or were unable to keep it safe from harm). These feelings are normal. Seek support from other pet lovers. Friends and relatives who care as deeply for their animals as you did for yours can sympathize, understanding the bond you shared with your pet. Also helpful: Pet grief support groups. Ask your veterinarian for a referral to a local group... or check www.Pet-Loss.net. Express your grief. Write in a journal, compose a song, paint or sculpt—any activity into which you can pour your grief helps you process painful emotions, said Dr. Wolfelt. Consider whether there is a deeper well of pain within you. If you seem stuck in your grief, perhaps losing your pet triggered a subconscious review of an earlier loss. Dr. Wolfelt explained, "You may not have mourned adequately for a previous death—for instance, of a parent. The pet’s death can bring out those repressed feelings, making your current grief seem out of proportion." If you suspect this, consult a therapist or grief counselor for help in finally mourning your earlier loss. Create a ritual to honor your pet. Having a funeral or memorial service for your pet encourages family members to openly express their emotions, formally acknowledge the loss and share comforting memories. Also helpful: Create a scrapbook dedicated to your pet, with photos and small mementos such as a collar tag. Think carefully before getting a new pet. The decision about whether or when to acquire another animal is highly individual, so only you can say when you’re ready. But: If you bring another pet into your home before you have truly accepted that your previous companion is gone and cannot be replaced, you may be disappointed. As Dr. Wolfelt said, "First you must allow yourself to mourn the death of your pet—because that is what lets you open your heart to the love and companionship a new pet can provide." Source: Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, is a psychologist, founder and director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado, and faculty member in the department of family medicine at the University of Colorado Medical School in Denver. He is the author of more than 25 books on grief and loss, including When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing (Companion). www.CenterForLoss.com
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 | | Homemade Help for Dry Hands Spring is well under way—so why do our hands still sport the flaky, itchy, blotchy skin reminiscent of winter? I posed this question to Dorie Byers, RN, author of Natural Beauty Basics: Create Your Own Cosmetics and Body Care Products. She explained that the problem could be the commercial products we slather on in an attempt to moisturize our hands. These often contain ingredients such as alcohol, which actually can leave skin more parched... mineral oil, which can clog pores... and/or a high water content, which makes the products less emollient and thus less able to penetrate and hydrate the skin. Fun solution: Make your own pleasantly fragrant salve to soothe your dry hands using only natural ingredients. While the initial cost of the separate ingredients may seem pricier than ready-made moisturizers, ounce for ounce, your mixture will be more economical because you’ll wind up with a lot more moisturizer for the money, Byers said. And because this salve is much more concentrated than many commercially prepared formulations, you’ll need less than a pea-sized dab to thoroughly moisturize your hands. (Don’t use too much, or you might wind up staining your clothing or bed linens.) You also can use the salve on your feet and elbows, though it is best not to apply it to your face because, if you use the optional essential oils, they can irritate your eyes. All ingredients are readily available at health-food stores or online. Byers’ recipe makes approximately two ounces of salve, which should last three to four weeks. If desired, you can double, triple or quadruple the recipe, then divide your moisturizer into several two-ounce, wide-mouth glass jars and freeze it indefinitely until you’re ready to use it. Ingredients you’ll need...
1 Tablespoon avocado oil
1 teaspoon beeswax
1 teaspoon jojoba oil
20 drops evening primrose oil
800 IU vitamin E (you can prick two 400 IU vitamin E capsules and squeeze out the oil) Optional ingredients...
5 drops carrot seed essential oil
3 drops patchouli essential oil
2 drops frankincense essential oil
1 drop rosewood essential oil To prepare... Put the avocado oil and beeswax in a small heatproof container, such as a Pyrex measuring cup. Fill a saucepan with enough water to surround the bottom two inches of your heatproof container, then place the container in the saucepan "bath" (without letting any water get into the container). Bring the water to a boil on the stovetop and simmer until the beeswax melts. Remove container from the saucepan bath. To the beeswax mixture, add the jojoba, primrose and vitamin E oils and stir. Add the essential oils, if using, and stir until well mixed. Immediately, before the mixture starts to solidify, pour it into a two-ounce, wide-mouth jar. Cover and store at room temperature. Source: Dorie Byers, RN, is a nursing clinical instructor at Indiana University–Purdue University at Indianapolis and author of Natural Beauty Basics: Create Your Own Cosmetics and Body Care Products (Vital Health).
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| | | Fascinating Facts 60%... Lyme disease patients who develop Lyme arthritis if they are not treated in the early stages of the disease. Source: Aristides Cruz, MD, Yale–New Haven Hospital. 63%... Americans age 70 and up who have some level of hearing loss. Among those with moderate hearing loss (which is enough to make a person miss one-half to three-fourths of speech in a conversation), only 40% use a hearing aid. Source: Journal of Gerontology: Medical Sciences. 64%... Female smokers who die of cigarette-related causes. Among former smokers, that statistic drops to 28%. Source: Harvard School of Public Health.
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 |  | |  Tamara Eberlein, the editor of HealthyWoman from Bottom Line, has been a health journalist for nearly three decades. An award-winning author or coauthor of four books, she is committed to helping other women in midlife and beyond live healthy, fulfilling lives. Her latest book is the updated, third edition of When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads (HarperCollins). She is also the "chief health adviser" to her husband of 25 years, college-age twins and teenaged son. | |  | | Bottom Line Publications | 281 Tresser Boulevard, 8th Floor | Stamford, CT 06901
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